So long

No, no. I don't have a job, so don't get all excited. I just don't think the intent of this blog is what I want it to be, so I'm going to start fresh, aiming for work that more closely aspires to what I really enjoy. Yammering about my children or how to make something in one post while bitching about the idiocy of potential employers in another kind of clashes. I'll be writing and sharing photos and creations in a new blog (and selling those creations on Etsy.com) called theelephantandthebutterfly.blogspot.com (still under construction.)

The other thing is how massively depressed I've been. No one understands because I haven't been honest about it. But I haven't worked outside the home for SIX MONTHS! I am immensely depressed, and nothing any of you can say, save for telling me I'm hired, is changing that. You might think you understand, but I'm here to tell you you don't. I'm also struggling with the happiness I have being a mama and the complete failure I feel at being unable to reinvent myself. I have always been, always wanted to be, a journalist. That's not going to happen anymore.

So I'm not good at shaking myself off. But I have to do something because I can't continue to do THIS. It's not working. I find solace and shame in remembering everything surrounding my miracle girl. Overcoming all of that certainly puts this experience to shame, shame that I could even for a second stop remembering to be grateful.

I'm going to start trying to sell some of the little bits of things I've sporadically worked on over the summer. I keep reminding myself people enjoy what they themselves think they can't do, so we'll see how it goes.

My expectations, you rightly surmise, are not high.